The birth story
The birth story that you have been waiting for almost two months... Here we go!
This has taken me some time to write for various reasons, but one is LIFE with an amazing Husband and now, 3 beautiful kids. Another being I needed time to process it all and know this was the best for Lincoln and myself to keep us both safe. Just like it all began and how our life often runs... CONTROLLED CHAOS.
Let's start with a little back story to help fill in some details:
-We never announced on social media about having a baby or that we were having a boy.
-Our little boy measured 1-1.5week ahead consistently from about 18weeks on, but we figured it was slightly off or he was just going to be big.
-I started completing NSTs (Non-Stress Test) from 34weeks until delivery, twice a week due to being Advanced Maternal Age (AMA- over 35yr old).
-My due date was 11/14/2020, Liam's Birthday is October 17 and three weeks later is Brielle's November 7.
-Both kids my Water broke before going into active labor.
Ok, here we go! At 35 weeks 5 days I had just finished my last day of work and drove about 35miles to the hospital. I got there and quickly realized I was contracting regularly and they had some discomfort to the them, much more than a Braxton Hicks Contraction. Get on the monitor and what do you know- I was contracting every 2min or so apart consistently. Ended up not getting checked and was about 1.5cm dilated, but over a couple of hours with contractions no progression so home I went and tried to decompress and realized I better get my shit together as this baby was actually going to come earlier than the other two (40weeks +).
Week by week I was driving three times a week about 45miles alone to complete my weekly appointments and NSTs. I would contract off and on consistently and then it would dwindle out for weeks, but I was ready when he was as soon as I hit 37weeks. Around this time my Blood Pressure jumped up drastically and required further testing and evaluation, but all was well for the time being. It went down a little and I tried to just listen to my body to chill and relax. This whole pregnancy I was worried about having the baby on Brielle's Birthday as she was not OK with sharing HER DAY.... so on the 6th we celebrated her Birthday and I was once again contracting regularly every 7min apart, but not worsening. Dan was off the work his last long stretch of shifts until after the baby came and so he was gone for 72hr. I was now 39 weeks pregnant and very large and uncomfortable. At my Monday am NST, I decided it was going to be my last week pregnant and I should get dressed instead of my causal yoga pants and sweatshirt to the hospital. After my last appointment on the 6th I knew the baby was going to be a chunk. We measured twice and both times he was measuring 9lb 10oz and 9lb 13oz, but we said "Meh, thats usually off by a pound." We had planned to have me come in and talk about what we were going to do at 39week 4days. I felt every movement inside me and thought my fluids were low, but they were all good. So NST was good to go with some contractions but nothing consistent. Once home and Liam was napping, Brielle was finishing up school, I took a lovely 2.5hr nap and woke up with contractions again. I didn't pay attention to them as I didn't want to get my hopes up that anything was happening. However, around 530pm Brielle asked if I was ok. Apparently, the kids knew I was in labor, but I didn't or want to believe it yet. After the kids were in bed around 930pm I decided I was likely heading into labor and I should notify Dan, who was finishing his last shift and his Mom who would come over to watch the kids. The contractions continued to be 5min apart, but not progressing with pain. I finally fell asleep around 1130pm as the contractions were keeping me up and yet I still didn't believe I was in labor. around 130am I woke up to pee as usual and had a painful contraction, brushed it off and went back to sleep until 2am. This is when it all took off and went to 5min apart, 4min apart, and then consistent 3min apart at 4am. I called Dan home from work and finished getting my stuff together as I didn't believe I would go into labor on my own. At 545am we drove the hour drive to the hospital with contractions 3min apart and lasting about 1min plus.
Let's pause for a moment and remember a few things.. 1. This is a pandemic and its about to rev up again with cases. 2. The rules are much different and the spouse/support person is not allowed into the triage area until I was admitted. So we get to the hospital before 7am and so through the ER front entrance we go and luckily I knew some of the staff on and they let me walk up instead of a wheelchair. We get upstairs and that is when I have to kiss Dan good-bye until I get situated in my Laboring room, which who knows how long it will take or how far along I was. I was doing well overall and managing my pain. We get in and I was contracting well all on my own, which was a first for me, and I was 3cm dilated! WOO HOO! I was excited for attempting my redemption birth with no epidural and hoping it would progress quickly as once Im going and baby is well positioned, I progress well. I get situated in our room, COVID test is pending and Dan is on his way up. I was able to only walk around in my room and had intermittent monitoring. This was great under the current circumstances.
Contractions continue every 2-3min apart and gain in strength as the morning goes on. However, after a few hours I am checked again and no progress is made. I am walking in circles and using a step-stool for curb walking in place to ensure Lincoln is in the right position. I try sitting on a peanut ball while connected to the monitor to help open the pelvis and put pressure on my cervix. At 1pm, I am checked again and NO PROGRESS.. I am still 3cm and contractions are unbearable if I am not walking. I am melting down at this time from the pain and saying "I cannot do this anymore." Doula Dan is encouraging me talking me through every contraction at this time. I am not coping well. We wait another hour only to find out I am not progressing. At that time, I pull out the code word, "PINEAPPLE" in tears, feeling like I failed again and asked for the epidural to allow my body to relax so it would dilate and progress. Once again the Anesthesiologist comes in and rescues me from the pain and immediately I start progressing, 4cm and effacing. Now we thought it would quickly happen and by 5pm we would have a baby in our arms since my body was relaxing... silly me. At 430pm, my WATER BREAKS and I am now 7cm! Woo hoo, here we go.. SO I THOUGHT, but I didn't realize all that was about to unfold in the coming hours. At 630pm we cleaned me up only to find Meconium and I knew the baby was stressed. At shift change, I was checked and I was now 9.5cm, with a slight lip of cervix to thin, and my bag of water was still intact by his head causing him to not put full pressure on my cervix. My doctor was called in and then it was a whirlwind. I had pain through the epidural that was not enjoyable and I was not managing my pain. This is where it gets chaotic and slightly blurry still for me. I was given a bolus dose of pain medications to assist as I was spiraling in pain. Now let me remind you that I had done without an epidural with Brielle on Pitocin to 10cm, so I know the pain, this was about as bad as when Liam was trying to come out my butt, or so it felt. HAHA. Anyways, I am set up and its go time.. PUSH, PUSH.. time is going by and I feel Lincoln coming down, but not like normal. Normally I can push my babies out in about 15-30min. Nope.. not this boy. I cannot get him to come down. It's blurry for me remembering, but I was not in a good place. I'm pushing and nothing is happening. We stop and rest for a bit and I try to get in control, calmly push and work with my nurse. We try again without all the chaos in the room and I make progress with getting him down. I can feel him in my pelvis. During this time he is having decels or heart rate decelerations and not recovering his heart rate. I can hear it so clearly. I am being given Oxygen and turned to one side and then the other. Its so chaotic for me. I keep doing what needs to be done and in my head I know what is going on and where I am headed. I look into myself to try one more time. Lincolns heart rate in the background continues to be so loud to me and slow.. not his usual. My amazing doctor comes in calmly and puts it all out there for us. We can try again and possibly need to suction him out or we go for a section. I turn my head to Dan and start crying. I feel like I failed again. Tearful, I nod to Dan and he says, "let's do the C-section." I am in tears feeling so many emotions of I failed, unsure what happened, and would he be ok? Will I? His heart rate is consistently right around 100bpm if not lower at this time. I am signing papers, chugging medications, receiving more medications and trying to comprehend everything. Not sure how long it all took, but it seemed like minutes and we were bumping the railings the down the hallway to the OR. More medications went in through my Epidural causing a chill every time. I don't remember much as I was focusing on staying calm and relaxed for Lincoln. Dan is now sitting right by my head. This part becomes very blurry until Lincoln is pulled out and I hear, "Wow! Thats a big Boy!" but then we wait... and wait. Dan takes a look and some pictures for me over the curtain. We are still waiting for that cry, the first cry. The room becomes silenced besides the sound of Oxygen and the team diligently working. I see Dan stand up. He looks at me and reassures me constantly as I ask about what is going on? Why isn't he crying? What are they doing? Everyone is silent and calm. There was such an odd feeling to me during this time. I felt a sense of peace and strength in the room. I knew they were doing everything as the top team was in that OR with us. The Best OB Doctor, the ALS team (the ones you want in an emergency), the proficient nurses and OR techs, and the anesthesiologist that listened to my every concern of how I was feeling. Minutes are passing by and I know things are being done efficiently, but I still haven't heard Chunk cry, yet. Dan continues to reassure me, but now he is standing up, but he is stoic. I am administered more medications to help with bleeding. I start saying, "It's OK, just intubate him if you need to." and I am calmly reassured all is going to be OK. It's been at least 3 min, still no cry. Finally, after 4 of the longest minutes of our lives.. Lincoln starts crying. The sweetest cry. The cry of reassurance to let his parents know he was a fighter and he was going to be OK. He didn't cry long and he still isn't a crier to this day. Once I heard the cry, I went to a state of relaxation and just laid there while I am not sure what exactly happened or how long this all was. I was just so relieved after all the controlled chaos. I later found out Linc had a blood gas ran and he had low blood sugar, very concerning low, he was given some sugar to get him up and was good to go from there. He was bundled up and I got a few seconds to smell him and see his face in a bit of a blur and haze, prior to Dan and Lincoln leaving me in the hands of the OR team to close up shop. I knew in the moment all was well. I felt confident I was going to be well cared for and that Lincoln needed his Dad with him at all times. After I was closed up, very well I may add, and puked until I couldn't puke anymore, I was off to a long recovery. Lincoln and Dan met me briefly for a kiss and off the NICU for monitoring due to Lincoln's low blood sugar. This was a challenge all in it's own as I have never been apart from my babies after they arrive earthside. Dan and I would text back and forth, I asked him to advocate for skin to skin with Lincoln and a few other things. Chunk was rocking it as the largest baby in the NICU by a good few pounds I am told. After hours of being separated and me patiently staying awake to diligently pump for Lincoln to prevent delay in my milk production and staying on top of Lincolns progress I got to really meet Lincoln and boy, it still brings so many emotions to me. It was the weirdest thing for my husband to hand me an hours old child of ours, but it felt so right.
All was well.. All was right. Our littlest MIC DROP was here in the middle of the chaos of 2020!
I know it took me some time and many tears to finally put this down into writing, but here it is in all the chaos. Lincoln is now almost 11 weeks and still a chunk weighing in over 13 pounds and 24 in long.
In all the chaos it was you that we needed. Lincoln Roy McGuire's middle name after his great-grandfather that passed just two weeks prior to his birth, but was the only one to know his name prior to his arrival. In honor of him and all he did for our world. . Rest in Love Roy Holmes.
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