Infertility: How it all began...

     Where do you even begin when you decide to throw it all down on a blog and open it up to the world? Well, lets start with how it all began...

      I'm sure many of you reading this are aware of our journey as I have posted on Instagram and Facebook over the past months. But, just in case, lets go back.... I am Amber! I am 33yr old and have an amazing little girl from a previous marriage. I met the most amazing man in 2014 when my life as I had known it took a little bit of a plot twist. He came in and swept me off my feet in a matter of months- I fell quickly in love with him and so did my daughter Brielle (who by the way was extremely sassy at the time, being only 2.5 years old). In August 2016, we started trying to conceive, without really "trying". On November 19, 2016 , Dan, Brielle and I (Yes, Brielle thinks it was her wedding, too!) were married alongside our friends and family in the most perfect country rustic. A truly amazing day as Dan vowed to both Brielle and I, making us officially a family. 

        Right after we got married we thought it would be fun to start searching for our forever home and sell my townhouse. The journey was a wild adventure for sure with many unexpected twist and turns, but landed us in our forever home (well, at least for the next 30years; MOVING SUCKS!). 

      During this time of getting married, buying and selling a home, and trying to conceive (TTC), I also decided it was time to take on a promotion at work. How could I pass up on this opportunity that I worked so hard to get to? I couldn't and I quickly started in on this new role in the Emergency Room as a Clinical Lead focusing on the education. WOW- What an adventure it has been! I love what I do, but it definitely has made life interesting. Let's just say we thrive in a world of controlled chaos!  

      Anyways, back to the reason we are all here... TTC! We had our first pregnancy in the beginning of March 2017, which quickly ended after that initial Positive. This all happened the morning of us cleaning our townhouse out and moving all the last bit of items to our new home. Let's just saw I was a MESS! I never even got the chance to tell Dan I was pregnant before it all faded away. No one actually knew besides me. Moving along to May 2017, it happened again, but this time it was more positive than it was in March. I thought to myself, "YES! This is happening. Our little miracle!" Only, to take a pregnancy test two days later and it barely be positive. This was the day I was going to tell my Husband, "You did it! You had a lucky sperm fertilize my egg!" Ok, well it probably would have been more along the lines of, "WE'RE PREGNANT AF" or high-five and some tears of joy that we are going to be able to make Brielle a big sister! After-all, she has only been asking me since she was 2 years old! Once again, the pregnancy was gone before we could even get to this point. I was broken and did not understand why. Before I had Brielle in October 2010, I had a pregnancy that lasted 10weeks. I found out at 9weeks that it would be a non-viable pregnancy at my check-up. At 10 weeks I had a D&C as my body did not want to let go of the pregnancy that stopped developing at 6weeks. I was very angry during this time taking it out on anyone and everyone, including my own family on social media. Not the best idea!!! When you want something so badly and it does not happen, it really takes a toll on you in many ways. Every month we tried harder and harder, but still no pregnancy. Early August I decided to listen to my gut that had been telling me something is not OK. I went to my OB/GYN and had the talk about what the next steps were going to be. It was blood-work for both my husband and I, a HSG (Hystersalpingogram) for me- checks to make sure my tubes are all open by injecting dye into my uterus, and for him a semen analysis... he has to go beat off into a cup at the fertility clinic! Now this took the month of August to complete, while we waited for the results to come back. All my labs were as normal as could be. We were still TTC and what do you know... I had not felt well. I took a test and BAM, +! What, could this be? Of course not- another Chemical pregnancy once again. Each time, I became more empty and lost in this whole process. Early September I completed my HSG to find all was good. So, what is going on? The Semen Analysis came back with low counts (less than 5million per ml) and low morphology (misshaped). So we have an answer to why, right? Well, sort of. September lead us into the fertility clinic, but this is a whole different post regarding this fun-filled adventure into the world of INFERTILITY ...

     I leave you with some fun pictures from the beginning of our journey:

 Adventures in a small catheter being inserted in your vagina, through your cervix, and dye being injected quickly while taking X-Rays, to see if both fallopian tubes are open

Adventures in beating off.. INTO A CUP! 

Stay tuned for more! The adventure continues...

#acquiringbabyMcGuire