INFERTILITY: What keeps me from losing my shit?

       Every day I struggle with trying to keep it all together. I have to tell myself to relax, breath, let that shit go. I have learned that I have to find the GOOD in everything. If something didn't go right, then GOOD, it's time to work harder, do better, and find a better way. There are those days when I can't stop from thinking, "Why not me? When will it be our turn? How did this even happen? How do I find the good in this?" This is all OK, because I am dealing with it instead of suppressing how I feel. I cry, even when I don't want to because a lady is carrying a baby while dropping her older child off at school or I find out someone close to me is pregnant or my body just can't keep it together and it lets the tears fall. It can be quite annoying for me, since I despise crying, let alone crying in public (GASP! Yes, I have lost my shit in public!).
      So what has helped me keep my shit together? I have found a love for Podcast! I started listening to JOCKO podcast, which is not related to infertility in anyway. He is speaks about leadership skills and  motivational techniques, about being a navy seal, and history (Not my thing.. yawn). However, there was a one piece that really stood out to me-

     When I am losing it all this is what I listen to and find the GOOD in it all! 

     Many times it is such as struggle to find the GOOD, but eventually I find it. After falling in love with podcast, I begin searching for infertility even before we were diagnosed. I found BEAT INFERTILITY, which has so much great information and stories of other couples struggle through the infertility world that ultimately lead them to their take home baby. This one is a feel-good podcast knowing others are struggling just like you are. Then I stumbled upon a podcast that changed my life related to infertility, MATT & DOREE's EGGCELLENT ADVENTURE. This couple is straight up honest, blunt, and so truthful in the struggle of IVF. It makes me think, well hey I'm not THE ONLY ONE going through this. There are so many couples on this same journey and dealing with the same B.S. we are! I highly recommend!! Gives me a good laugh, because I swear you cannot make some of the shit that happens up! 

      Podcast have helped a great deal in keeping me the slightest bit sane. Other methods I use include Acupuncture once a week with a focus on infertility. I also decided to talk about it all ....helps me more than I realized. Now I am not talking about therapy, thats not my thing(If it works for you- do it!), blogging has made me a feel a sense of relief and calms me. I am able to just work through every thought and situation writing it down for some else to read and say "HEY, I'm not completely losing it! She did too!" Infertility treatments are such a wild ride overall with emotions being involved, time, energy, your body getting poked at with a needle or the delightful twat-wand, or checking and/or savings accounts dwindling down faster than you can work overtime. Whatever you find that helps you relax and stay sane do it (I don't suggest drugs or alcohol here.. SORRY!). Many women find great peace in Yoga, once again not my thing unfortunately. I'm the girl that would like to throw tires around and exhaust myself to tears (Thats my JAM! However, not allowed during IVF treatments). Talking to my Husband helps me immensely. He definitely does not understand all that is going on with me or in my head, but lets be honest NO ONE DOES. haha. He is able to hear me out, let me vent, cry and comfort me, and then give me that tap on the butt and say "Go GET EM KID!" allowing me to go about my day feeling supported in every way. One thing I have struggled with is with my friends, as I tend to shy away from going out, reaching out to them, and being able to express everything to them. Friends can be a great place to get your mind off it all and just be you again without all the infertility weighing in on you. This is a goal of mine to work on in 2018. The people that know all we have gone through are the best supporters and help us keep it all together- friends, coworkers, and OF COURSE, our family!!! Our PARENTS are ROCKSTARS in the support department. They are their motivating us, giving great advice, cheering us on, praying for us,  constantly asking what we need and helping us fund some of this process. 

        I am hoping some of my/our struggles and experiences can help at least one person/couple in the process of infertility treatments life just a little bit easier, simpler, and less crazy. Or at least gives you a good laugh! 

#acquiringbabyMcGuire